There are two concepts in the whole this positive thinking thing that I truly can not stand, both described below.
1. What prevents you from achieving your dreams? - You.
Each time I see this and I feel like howling. Because it shows the desire to make money riding the popular wave and the lack of understanding how this energy we all create interacts as well as a complete lack of compassion. This, of course, is my personal opinion and I'm not an expert in modern psychology but I've tried numerous technics, I've failed and won, and I think there is much more to know than just "go for it".
Let's get an example - Mery lives in the small town A where there is the company B where there is one job Mery desires more than anything else - let's say it's the Marketing Manager job. Mery does all she could to get the job - she uses all her resources to be properly educated, looks for help, even takes courses to be aware of the newest tendencies in the marketing field, etc. Mery also practises positive thinking and visualization, she has a treasure map, makes rituals, follows the moon, etc. Now, let's imagine what happens if John next door desires the same job and does the same things. And this is not difficult to imagine because in real world for such a position the competition won't be between two but between twenty at least and more probably two hundred. And considering how widely popular positive thinking is, I bet at least half of these folks will try it any time to get the dream job.
Clearly, there is absolutely no way Mery and John will get the job they want. It's one. Is anyone wrong? I don't think so but we must remain realistic while following our dreams in order to prevent ourselves from being badly hurt. There are those who will say it's all for the better and it may be in the long term but at this particular moment either Mery or John will feel smashed. There is no way around this. Yes, positive thinking will help to stand up and move on, and that's why I'm such a firm believer in the benefits of it but it's just not fair to tell people the only reason their dream hasn't come true is "you". We live amidst constant exchange of energy, thoughts, desires, dreams, etc. And while it doesn't matter in the universal plan, it does matter when there is one prize and two or more competitors.
I can also talk a lot about all the writers in the world who dream and work very hard and it just doesn't happen, and that's all. Some of them spend tons of money on writing classes, editing services... And no, and no, and no. Who is to blame? If there are 2000 manuscripts published annually and ten times more submitted, naturally there is no way all will get published. And I don't believe it's because 198 000 weren't bold enough or weren't dreaming hard enough, or weren't positive. May be 2/3 of them weren't but the rest were believers. Me among them.
It's also about the realization that at one point the harsh truth must be faced. Lets' say I've been writing since grade two, I won my first award in grade three, I continued being praised in the university, I studied literature but for some reason I haven't made it to publishing for... let's say five years. At this point I personally would accept the thought that this particular novel/collection or whatever it is, won't make it. It is also possible I'd be wrong and I'd miss a chance. Perseverance is very important. But, on the other hand, the outer life goes on, it's not all happening in the little writer's space.
It takes time - the writing, the editing, the research, the browsing for agents and publishers, the reading of their blogs, the editing again, the re-writing, the submitting again... It takes even more time to stand up each time and go on, emotionally. What happens meanwhile? With the people around us, with the loved ones, with the job, with the bills??? I couldn't make it, may be it's only me but I wouldn't compromise the time with my son, for example, for endless submissions and editing. Now, there are those "favorite" agents and publishers of mine who will respond "lack of determination" and it explains why they are my "favorite". ;) On the other side are authors like Rebecca Woodhead (I wrote a post about her last year) who pursue the goal at all cost, including hunger. Here I couldn't compete either because any thought that I could leave the house without heat or proper food and my child will suffer my literary ambitions throws me in depression. If I were alone, may be but rather "no" because then I'd feel dependent and it would throw me in another depression. LOL
And again, it's all about the individual situation, there is no universal truth. Sometimes the dream is just not the right one at the right time. It is still possible to achieve it after pushing it all and to the end but I'm not sure it should take such sacrifices. In fact, I'm pretty sure it shouldn't. If it doesn't happen with joy, if it doesn't feel like a game, then something is wrong and out of balance.
2. Be Careful What You Wish For
The stupidest, most limiting thing ever said. I always feel inclined to ask "Why?" Why should I be careful? Is my wishing star going to get exhausted? Her battery will be down? Or do I only have a certain number of wishes allowed for this lifetime? And it's even more annoying that it contains a hint of a threat. It sounds like "Be careful or..." What? It takes me back to the time when I was a child and we were raised with this idiotic belief that all we get has to be paid for. So, we grew up as cowards. We had to start learning to wish again when we became adults which, of course, is far more difficult as the damage has already been done and is deeply rooted.
The truth is, if we believe in the abundance of the Universe (and I do because the Universe is energy and as we very well know matter doesn't really exist, it's all miniature parts interacting with each other), then there is no problem at all to wish as often and as much as our heart desires. because if we believe in this abundance, it literally means we can replace each unsuccessful wish with a new one and that's all. If I wanted a white Mercedes but realized it wasn't looking that well when I got it, I just wish for a red one and trust. Right? What is there to be careful about?
Oh, may be they meant relationships? But there are about 50% divorces around the western world with or without careful wishing. And it's not a tragedy to dedicate too much thinking to it, from my point of view. We must learn to let go - wishes, cars, people. Only clinging creates fear because it kills trust and faith. Trust your inner voice and the powers inside you.
After all, the worst possible scenario, like in the example with Mery and John, is to not get the wish. In which case you would have only wasted precious time thinking again and again "carefully" if it's a wise thing to wish for or not. In the best case scenario, you get what you want, you are happy and it's time to set new goals, to dream new dreams, in which case any further "careful thinking" would be again a waste of precious time. Or, as the saying implies, you get the thing/person, you find out it's not the best for you and you move on, learning to deal with your own mind, ideally learning to let go too. All positives here. ;))
