Answers

I received a few very carefully phrased questions and realised I may be touching on sensitive topics while people are not sure if their comments will automatically pop up on the blog, the answer is no. The comments are moderated and if you ever want to ask or comment without it being published, just let me know.

So, here are some answers to what I got as questions:

Marriage for money? No. While I'm the last person to proclaim living in poverty (if it's not a personal choice) which, in my opinion, debilitates people, me included, I still don't find myself capable of staying in any kind of relationship (and I've been there) for money only. I must be independent or I pack the bags, which I'll have to do soon if I don't hit it big.

Faith? Yes. You must have faith and you must take good care of it. We often take it for granted, something you either have or not, but I beg to differ. Faith, like all other things, needs maintenance. Fix it when it's broken. If you'll go to church or stare at the ocean, find your own way, the one thing that makes you believe that all is possible and you're taken good care of. Faith brings trust.

Prayers? Yes. I do believe in the power of prayer. It doesn't mean you have to be religious. You may pray to energy, nature, faeries, pagan Gods and Goddesses, whoever suits your mood and understanding. Prayer focuses the mind on your dreams and wishes, it's the easiest form of meditation I know.

Divorce? Yes. To me, the most ethical thing to do when things are not well, when the spark is clearly gone, is to free yourself and the other person, and give both of you the chance to meet someone better. I don't consider any excuses like the kids, the money, the security, the house, the expenses or similar as valuable. These are not good reasons to keep yourself and the other one prisoners.

Success? Hm... Last time I was successful (based on my criteria and it's pretty high) was about five years ago and it felt like heaven. Still, it depends what kind of person you are and what success means to you. I'm still investigating if it's true that when you do what you love, success comes for sure. Nothing to report yet. In general, I think it's human nature to like being appreciated, regardless if it's only by your family members or by multimillion audience. The moment I feel I'm taken for granted, I pack the bags again. Lots of packing in my life, that's for sure.

Fear? Oh, I can write an encyclopedia on this. I know so many sides of fear. There is no way of denying its presence. I'm still fighting my fears on daily basis. I learned to admit them. I say to myself "Yes, I'm terribly afraid of.... , I accept it, and I release it now!" It's been working. Try to find your way. I sometimes imagine stuffing the fear in a balloon and watching it flying away.

Wealth? It comes and goes. I was a teen when I first saw how in literally one night all the wealth I thought we possessed just disappeared. And I mean, all of it. I found myself at a bottom I couldn't recognize, I was a child. Yet, I crept back to the surface. Easy? Not at all. But it's possible. The most challenging thing for me personally was, and still is, to accept the idea of wealth as energy that is constantly floating around. Also, I make quite an effort to learn how to manage this energy without freaking out each time I lose and without turning insane each time I win. Up till now, I've found it's a question of training the mind. As we go to the gym, we should exercise our mind too.

Positive thinking results? Yes, there are results. I've had some pretty good ones, yet my failures are more to this point. It's my deeply rooted disbelief, the "oh, it won't happen to me" when it comes to really good and big things. Like, wishing to win the jackpot but somewhere down there the little voice is mocking and giggling. To me, personally, the key is repeating daily to myself that it is possible (whatever you wish for) and I deserve it. But, really, this must be a daily ritual. Our mind believes our mouth.

Single parenting? Parenting is tough anyways and "single parent" doesn't necessarily mean one must be separated or divorced. I'd been a single parent before I got separated. But, as I said, regardless how tough it is, I don't find the kids a good reason to stay in an illusion of a kind. The moment we give them life is the moment they are already a separate identity. They have their own life. We must care for ours, I've never seen happy children raised by depressed parents.

And that's all for today, folks. :)))

P.S. Yesterday I received a spam letter signed "R.B., Esquire". It's funny he immediately popped up in my mind - a hero of a book, just born to be in it. Gloomily hanging hair, too long and too straight of a nose, eyes of a spaniel... Yep, if only there was time to write.