Consider anything, only don't cry!

`Oh, don't go on like that!' cried the poor Queen, wringing her hands in
despair.  `Consider what a great girl you are.  Consider what a long way
you've come to-day.  Consider what o'clock it is. Consider anything, only
don't cry!' ("Alice in Wonderland - Through the Looking Glass")

Sometimes all I need is to just consider... who... how far... and just... only not cry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVl4qvHuY8g

I've been reading - The Messenger

Klaus Joehle, "The Messenger":

“‘They’re not really stupid.  They just act like that because they’re scared.’”

“‘Scared of what?’”

“‘They’re scared of everything; scared of not being loved, scared of too much Love, scared of dying, of living, of not having enough food, scared that others will hurt them or take what they have.’  The words were just coming out of my mouth and I was listening to them the same way as he was.  ‘They’re even scared of what they don’t have, that others are better than them, of being alone, of being with people, of being made fun of, of not being liked or accepted, scared that something will go wrong, and sometimes they’re scared even when things go right.  They’re scared of those who are not so scared, and most of all, scared of each other.’”

“‘So?’ he asked with a puzzled look on his face.”

“‘Fear can drive you to do very unloving things.  It can even drive people crazy. It slowly drains all the Love out of life and leaves you with anger that can turn into hate.  It all comes down to a lack of Love.  Love is the food of the universe and everything in it.  Without Love there’s chaos, hate, anger, and fear.  Where there is Love there is peace, joy, fulfillment, trust, and abundance. That’s why things are the way they are, it’s just a matter of not being enough Love.’”

" Openly trusting

I’ve thought a lot about trust lately, partly because something has come up, that has touched that part of me that I keep so well hidden.

I wonder what it is that I’m afraid of?
 I wonder if I have really ever trusted, or if it was nothing more than a temporary illusion.
 I’ve thought about how many wonderful things I have destroyed because of my lack of trust.
There is nothing in life that I have ever come across that I couldn’t handle, yet the question remains: why am I scared?
No relationship works without trust regardless of whether it consists of friendship, Love, work or play.
It comes down to the same thing, trust.
Maybe it’s really myself that I don’t trust.
Do I trust myself, that I will pick the right whatever?
Possibly? Maybe? After all, who knows what’s right for me better than me.

I’ve heard it said that if you do what is right for you, that is selfish, but I know that if you don’t do what is right for you then that becomes destructive.  
So where is the balance?
And what will happen to me if I just say the hell with it and just trust?
Perhaps it’s whom I trust?
Well that didn’t work, did it? It appears I’m right back where I started.
Well, that leaves me with one choice, doesn’t it?
I hope that it’s not going to be as painful as my lack of trust has been.
On the other hand, Ladies First! "

I've been reading - The Prophet

"The Prophet"
Jubran Khalil Jubran  (Gibran Kahlil Gibran)

***
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.


***
Children

And a woman who held a baby against her bosom said, 'Speak to us of Children.'
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

I've been reading

 Honestly, if this gal had met even one more man who fooled her, I would have started to scream. It became rather boring. Even I can not relate to all these unsuccessful dates and even at 35 there is a chance to meet someone who knows what he wants. The end was so... preditctable. Some of the heroine's actions - unbelievable. Like donating all designer clothes and shoes to prove she is done with her past? If they had been bought by her ex-boyfriend (this nasty villain!) I would have bought it but throwing her own money away... Sorry, not a thing I've seen happening. Some of the men's actions - too. Like getting back to a girlfriend he described as a "sister" with whom he had been struggling for months! No. Real people rarely get back there, especially after moving to another country and meeting someone new. Quite unrealistic.

Anyways, you may try it. It's still funny if you're more patient than I am. :)

Do you know Rebecca?

Rebecca Woodhead? A fellow writer with a similar life story, another one who had to fight each step of the road to publishing? If not, then check out her blog: http://rebeccawoodhead.blogspot.com/ and help as you can. Buying our books is the best support, so please take a second look at your list with presents for the upcoming birthdays, weddings, and holidays. I'm almost 100% sure you can find a place for a couple of writing jewels. :))

I'm reading

I just got this today after I had to wait for it more than two weeks. I am very happy refreshing my mind. I haven't read Hemingway since I was first year in the university and this was disturbingly long ago. Now, all that remains to be done is to write my book as well as they wrote theirs. Love Jane Austin and very sorry I'll have to change my book's Mr. Darcy... Only I see his wonderful nature...

I'm reading

I wanted to recommend this book which I've been reading the past few days. After all the books I've read about Provence, I thought there was nothing to attract me anymore. This one definitely changed my mind! As someone who hopes to become a professional writer, I truly admire Mr. Greenside for the funny, witty, warm and yet - objective writing! Check it out, it's worth every minute! I hope he will write a couple more as I'm dying to read about this small village in Brittany again. :))

Is summer coming anytime soon?

I freely admit the cool weather which reminds me more of October than of June is killing me! I'm eager for sun rays, heat, long evenings and velvet nights. My thoughts are running towards beaches and sea coasts where women walk in the dusk leaving a delicate trace of perfume and men in linen pants share the last sport news after an aperitif. But here I am, still studying, still looking forward to having a vacation.

Last week I went to a huge book store and instead of some professional literature, I found myself out carrying two books about provence, one book about travelling in the Mediterranean and one book on Gipsy magic... Now, the last one I didn't buy and that was the curious thing. I found it under the other ones only after I was already on my way home. The cashier put it there. I wonder if I look that much in need of magic?

Do you consider such events just coincidences or do you believe everything that happens to us was meant to happen and has a purpose? I'm willing to believe the latter as I definitely need some magic right now.

Other things started happening too. Like more people talking to me about one particular place where I want to be. Or having a fortune cookie which tells me something related to this place. Of course, my mind may consider them all natural but my heart doesn't want to believe.

And in addition, my best friend told me to watch "The Secret" to get an idea on how magic could work. I guess I'm one of the few who hadn't seen it yet as I understand it was very popular. It sounds OK although I find all these people quite overreacting at times. In general, I know energy comes and goes and there is logic in assuming that positive would bring the same and vice versa. In any case, I'm practicing visualization every day. And I come from a place where all this was known long ago but never had commercial success. may be the people didn't want it to have. May be it was supposed to remain a secret.