Consider anything, only don't cry!

`Oh, don't go on like that!' cried the poor Queen, wringing her hands in
despair.  `Consider what a great girl you are.  Consider what a long way
you've come to-day.  Consider what o'clock it is. Consider anything, only
don't cry!' ("Alice in Wonderland - Through the Looking Glass")

Sometimes all I need is to just consider... who... how far... and just... only not cry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVl4qvHuY8g

The spring of our music

There are only two bands from my youth which survived the test of time and are still part of my life: U2 and Depeche Mode. While I had the chance to not only listen to but to also work with the former, I have always somehow missed my chances with the latter. But no more! Depeche Mode are coming to Sofia again on May 12th! Last time they were here in 2006 but I was thousands of miles away. I heard so much about this show and I was so sorry I wasn't here. Being the lucky gal I am, this year I'm leaving in the summer so I'll be here for their show and I'm super excited. No, I'm actually floating around like a hot air balloon. LOL I'm sure it's gonna be glorious! There is only one little thing... how will I do my job two days later at the Bon Jovi performance? I mean... I'll be still drunk with excitement... Hopefully, I won't be humming "enjoy the silence..." LOL Anyhow, looks like another dream of mine is coming true. What can I do? I'm lucky. Fate. :)))))))))

Greetings with one of my most favourite songs: Question Of Lust: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOtRZOlE0WM . If I ever had a crush on anything, it's Martin Gore's voice. Not to mention the lyrics - simple yet telling. It's World's Poetry Day, so it's worth listening to such beautiful words. May your independence never take the place of your love because they should go together. True love is freedom. :)

Fragile
Like a baby in your arms
Be gentle with me
I'd never willingly
Do you harm

Apologies
Are all you seem to get from me
But just like a child
You make me smile
When you care for me
And you know

It's a question of lust
It's a question of trust
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

Independence
Is still important for us though (we realise)
It's easy to make
The stupid mistake
Of letting go (do you know what I mean)

My weaknesses
You know each and every one (it frightens me)
But I need to drink
More than you seem to think
Before I'm anyone's
And you know

It's a question of lust
It's a question of trust
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

Kiss me goodbye
When I'm on my own
But you know that I'd
Rather be home

It's a question of lust

I've been listening - Coldplay

And so it happens, from time to time, things don't work out... No, things actually work in all possible opposite ways to what we wanted. Castles crumble. Towers in ruins. Defences fall. Dreams crash. Hopes vanish. Yet, faith remains alive. No one knows why and no one understands how but once you strenghten it, it stays there for much longer than you will actually need. You'll be back on your feet before your faith needs nurturing. It will nurture you meanwhile. Sometimes all is needed is to hang in there, hold on and relax. OK, may be not this month but next one all will work out. This past one was a test, it was a tough one but there was still light as my boy had his birthday, there was still laughter despite the crying times, there was life. As long as there is life, there is love, and as long as there is love, there is life. All is well. It's still a beautiful world. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uxt-FnNy2I

Coldplay - Don't Panic

Love Day

Happy St. Valentine! Celebrate love today. And say it, say it! Finally, say it! Share a hug, a kiss, a confession, affection and tenderness. :) Don't hide from love and don't be afraid to love because no matter how much we hide, chances are we'll still get hurt sometime but if we never risk, we'll never win, while losing will remain part of the game. Life is about loosing your belt and taking a ride in the dark. About closing your eyes and taking a leap of faith. There is nothing worse than the things we missed. Open your heart, make someone feel truly special today and let them decide after that. Make a gift. The most precious gift of all is love, so let your love shine throughout the world. :)

Ah, and don't forget all the girsl/boys you loved before! :)))))) No matter what happened, they were part of your life and most probably were there for a reason.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fWoTeJ04GE

“If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven't loved enough.”
― Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love

Vladimir Vysotsky

Vysotsky was born 75 years ago, today. He was a true bard and he sang about life but even more, he played life. He became an emblem of the legendary Taganka theatre. A great website dedicated to Vladimir Vysotsky is this one: http://www.kulichki.com/vv/eng/ And about his significance and role, one can get an impression from this passage:

"He died during the Moscow Olympics, and people abandoned their stadiums and TV sets to participate in a spontaneous memorial service. Though there had been no announcement of his death in the press, within hours everyone in Moscow knew of it, and thousands gathered near the theater, where his legendary guitar was displayed, to recite his poems and honor his memory. At the funeral a few days later, mourners jammed the streets all around the Taganka, but only a few were able to file past the coffin before it was whisked away, while someone on a rooftop with a loud voice described the scene to the pressing crowd. "After Vysotsky's funeral," said Lyubimov (Taganka's director where Vysotsky played his Hamlet), "I began to respect the people of Moscow".

And a few of my favorites by Vladimir Vysotsky:


I love you now

I love you now, in fact,
And I don't hold it back.
It's not "before", not "after" - your rays set me afire.
Whether I weep or I smile
I love you in this while,-
the future I don't want, the past I don't desire.

"I loved you" (in the past)
is worth than breathing last.
My wings are cut, and I'm restrained by tender feeling,
although the greatest poet stated once:
"I was in love with you - my love may still be living"…

As if it were disavowed, faded,
for it implies compassion, condescension,
it's what one feels for overthrown kings.
There is regret in it for something outdated,
subsided striving, softened aspiration
and disbelief in "love you" kind of things.

My current love has got
no detriment, no spot.
My age is under way - I want no venesection!
At this continuous present I do not
live in the past nor dream of future foundation.

Through thick and thin I'll get
to you somehow, you bet! -
my feet put into chains and bound with heavy irons.
But when I say "I love you", even yet
don't make me add "I will", by error or with bias.

"I will" has got a bitter connotation,
for it implies a counterfeit, decay - unpleasant,
a loophole for retreating, anyhow,
insipid poison and contamination,
slap in the face, affront upon the present,
a doubt that I really love you now.

I dream my dream in French,
it has a wide tense range,
the future and the past are different from ours.
I'm pilloried, disgraced and outraged,
The language seems to set me at defiance.

The language gap, oh my!
I am about to cry !
Yet we can work it out, we have our firm intentions.
I love you at the times which will comply
with Future, Past and Present Perfect tenses.



About our meeting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygygqk0wlmQ

We were to meet. I waited for the day.
It felt like waiting for a terrible disaster,
But we began to live together right away,
Without fearing what might come after.

I got you out of gutter, dressed you, and
I cut the number of your doubtful connections,
You had a trail behind, without end,
A long-long trail of casual relations.

I battered, I recall, your so called friends,
I don't know why, but I just didn't like them,
Although there might have been, I sense,
Nice fellows, genuine friends, among them.

I'd do whatever you would ask me to.
I wanted every hour to be night of wedding.
One day I nearly killed myself for you,
but my attempt, thank God, was unavailing.

And if you'd waited for me on the year
When I was driven to the "country-house",
I would have stolen skies for you, my dear,
and in addition stars from Kremlin towers.

I'll give you anything, or I'll be damned!
Don't drink, don't lie, and I'll forgive you, sinner!
I'll give you Opera and Ballet and
The smaller building of the Sports Arena.

I'm not inclined to meet you now, my dove,
I'm scared of our act of love occurring,
The way the Japanese are scared of
the horror of Hiroshima recurring.



The one who's been with her before
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWSaoLpB7wc

I didn't drink or sing that night,
I stared at her with all my might.
Like children stare, like children stare.

But the one who's been with her before
Yelled out at me "You better go!"
Yelled out at me "You better go, You've no prayer!"

And the one who's been with her before
Was rude and wouldn't let it go;
But I remember, I was still sober,
I started walking towards the door,
She asked me "Stay a minute more",
She asked me "Stay a minute more, the night's not over."

But he who's been with her before
Did not forget me, I am sure,
And once in autumn, and once in autumn...
I'm out walking with my bro,
I saw them standing in a row,
I saw them standing in a row, there were eight of 'em!

And so I think, I've got my blade,
You'll never take me, just you wait!
I'll show you bastards! I'll show you bastards!
Why should I die without a fight?
I was the first to strike that night,
I was the first to strike that night, and that was justice.

But the one who's been with her before,
He cooked this plot up, I just know.
I've thought it over, I've thought it over.
When someone struck me  from behind
Varyuha screamed: "Watch out, Might!"
Varyuha screamed: "Watch out, Might!" But it was over.

To my eight woes just one reply,
And in the slammer where I lie,
There also surgeons, there also surgeons.
The doctor sliced me left and right,
All he could say was: "Hold on tight",
All he could say was: "Hold on tight",
And I was holding...

All in a glance the years flew by.
She didn't wait, and didn't try,
But I forgive her, I do forgive her.
I did forgive her, that's for sure,
But he who's been with her before,
but he who's been with her before,
Is not forgiven.

I did forgive her, that's for sure,
But he who's been with her before,
With him who's been with her before,
I will get even!



And the candles are melting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8irsSAsv_o

And the candles are melting
Out to the aged parquet.
The rain runs down shoulders
Like silver off epaulets.
In a frenzy there fizzles
The golden champagne.
Let the past fly away,
I'm not one to complain.

In a premortal anguish
with a back-looking glance,
The scared stags bound forward
Toward the deadly advance.
Someone points his long barrel
At the innocent breast...
Let bygones be bygones,
Come what may, if it's best.

With a heartless abandon
A clever hunter takes aim
With razor-sharp arrows
Into the sunset's red flame.
In the tempest of sound
A sad note then began.
The past leaps and bounds,
Come what may, if it can.



Ballad about love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWap5fmxCLI

When, after all, the great deluge was over,
The seas came back within their coastal lines,
Out of the foam of the receding water
The love came out softly to the land.
And, for some time, it faded in the air,
And lasted for an eon and some then.

And some eccentrics that still do exist
Inhale with their full lungs that crazy mix,
Expecting neither scolding nor reward,
And thinking they are free to breath it in
They realize one day that they fit in
Somebody else's intermittent breathing.

But remember: a feeling's like a boat
It's afloat until you realize:
That the words "I love" mean simply that
"I can breathe" and "I am still alive".

There will be plenty of despair and roaming.
The land of love is the most noble land.
The knights of love will have to go through testing
With ever higher standards and demands.
They will be separated by a distance,
Devoid of leisure, sleep without rest.

But nothing in the world can turn them back.
Those madmen do agree to pay it back,
Pay any price, their lives won't be excepted
In order to preserve and to protect
Some indiscernible and magic thread
Which love between them now has extended.

Wind and snow swept them off their feet,
Made them drunk and raised them from the dead.
'Cause remember you have neither lived,
Nor have breathed, if you have never loved.

And most of them have choked with love forever.
They can't be reached no matter what you do.
They are accounted by idle talk and rumor,
And that account is laced with pure blood.
But we will light up candles in the memory
Of those who died from the unprecedented love.

Their souls, among the flowers, will run
And their voices will blend and sound as one.
They will inhale eternity together.
And somewhere, on a fragile river cross,
A narrow bridge across the universe
Holding their breath, they will meet each other.

I will open fields to those who love!
Let them sing awake and in their rest.
I do breathe and that means I'm in love.
I'm in love and that means I exist.

Adagio

One of my favorites! An adagio for you! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w77SFM7Fksc&ob=av2e

A friend of mine reminded me today about this night when we went to see the guys in Winnipeg. It was a glorious performance in a not so glorious environment. Unfortunately, I can't forget the sweaters, the jeans and the smell of hockey around. Not to mention the hot dog and the popcorn. We looked like black swans there in our LBDs. I'll never understand how people can attend an event like that in such a... disrespectful way. But that's me, I guess. Next time I've promised myself to put on a bareback. :)))) And not go to a hockey venue to lsiten to opera voices!

This music...

This music I was asked to write lyrics for makes me feel dizzy. Very sensual and a bit painful. So, I already have the lyrics after I spent the day listening to the song. :) I can't post it all but I can post the beginning and a chorus:


I wanna live through you
And tell you of all my journeys and pain
Yet, I don’t want to hurt you
And captured in silence remain


I wanna lock you in my bitter kisses

And paint your hair with clouds
Until I know for sure
You will love me aloud

I wanna cover your eyes with the rainbow
And silence your cry with the moon
Until I know for sure
You will forget me soon


Of course, without the music it doesn't sound the same but I'm happy it came to me at once. :) And I truly love the song.

Once again about vacations...

More and more often I think of packing our stuff... The question being where and how. Seems like emptying the credit card will be the number one choice. :)))) Irresponsible? I know. I admit. I readily accept the title. Yet, I can't live in silence. In emptiness. Hitting the road brings fresh air. Having been on a Spanish wave lately, may be Spain is a good idea after all. Any recommendations will be welcome. I already wrote about Vejer here, the Costa del Sol looks promising too. I want to see flamenco. Malaga may be... Sevilla... Ah, already feel better. So, what's the fashion in bathing suits this summer? :))))

P.S. Was asked to write song lyrics. Excited and thrilled but lacking any inspiration. One more reason to look for the lost muse on a night beach under a deep blue sky. ;)

I've been reading and drinking sangria ;)

Having a small child means reading mostly baby and toddler books, at least to me. But don't think I feel sorry about it. In fact, I had the unique chance to revisit my own childhood when my nights were guarded by knights on white horses and when dragons spread their wings upon my pillow. I am walking again the dusty roads of imagination joined by creatures never seen, yet existing and sharing my dreams. I wanted to tell you about two of our most favorite books written by immortal Astrid Lindgren. We've been reading them with my baby for months and months and we never cease to be amazed by the music of these stories and by their hushed, intimate atmosphere and beauty.


And because we are such dreamers at home, I also wanted to give you a summer gift and wish you a magical, enchanted summer. Here is my highly original and personal sangria recipe :)))))) :

*Photo courtesy of www.recipetips.com

Ingredients


Apple juice, for ice cubes
1 1/4 cups (10 fl. oz) water
1 small bunch fresh mint
1/2 cup (3 1/2 oz) sugar
3 cinnamon sticks
6 cups (26 fl. oz) dry white wine
2 medium peaches, peeled, pitted and sliced
2 pieces watermellon cut into cubes
2 small lemons, sliced crosswise
Mint leaves to garnish 

Preparation
To make the apple juice ice cubes, pour the apple juice into two ice trays and freeze until the sangría is ready to serve. Combine the water, mint leaves, sugar, and cinnamon in a small saucepan, and bring to a boil over medium heat. Reduce the heat and simmer for several minutes. Remove from the heat and allow to cool. Once the mixture has cooled to room temperature, remove and discard the mint and cinnamon sticks.
Transfer the remaining mixture to a large serving bowl. Add the wine, peaches, watermellon cubes, and the lemon slices to the serving bowl. Mix well, and refrigerate overnight. Immediately before serving, add the apple juice ice cubes. Garnish with fresh mint leaves.

 

*Photo courtesy of www.whatsonxiamen.com

And because we are such dancers with my little son, we wanted to invite you to our hot summer party as well. :))) If you feel like dancing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2E-M9Kes_U&feature=PlayList&p=CD2788085BF40C23&playnext_from=PL&playnext=28
If you feel like... loving... dreaming... a bit, just a tiny bit hurting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnEmE8qanG8&feature=PlayList&p=CD2788085BF40C23&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1
 
Let it be summer, folks! And David Bisbal. LOL