This is going to be a quick one. I just read a beautiful article about the boldness to love. Yes, again. My point here is: how many times did you risk it all for love? And I mean all - money, career, job, your nice condo, may be even a penthouse, your new or not that new car, your nice clothes, your credited possessions... How many times did you prefer love to all of these? Ever? Never? It doesn't necessarily mean you lost all else but how many times did you accept the thought you could lose it or at least you were risking your well designed life and hard worked for life? For one kiss? For a stolen hug? For the thrill to whisper in someone's ear in the middle of the night instead of having "good night sleep"?
I'm just wondering where we are in our evolution these days. The paradox of our time is still valid - we have much, yet we lack the essentials. We work a lot, earn more, buy even more, yet we long for "happiness". Which is? In most cases I hear people defining it as "love" in one way or another. Be it a partner, a child, a pet, a loving family or else, it's all love. It should make it easier for all of us to sacrifice the possessions but it seems not to be happening. I can't point at the reason but I can share something personal.
I write about love. Not romance but love - the big, sometimes painful, often considered impossible love. The dream which very few dare to pursue. Like Romeo who didn't think of his family's wealth when he died for Juliet. Nor did he expect anything in return. He just chose love. Of course, it doesn't mean we have to commit a suicide to prove we love dearly but it helps make the point that big love, the one that carries us away into another dimension, it does take a sacrifice or two. These should be made happily - very important. I've done it. A couple of times. And while not all these loves ended happily, I don't regret now, when I look back. The memories are magical. They also give me the hope the better still lies ahead. Because I've learned already to choose love.
P.S. On my trip - a big victory - I booked a hotel! Yes, love helps. And yes - fighting fear means to admit it and to face it, and still - do what you fear and have faith. :)
Monday, August 16, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
The ever planning and never doing
I just read an article about the power of the present. I know, it's soooo popular these days, together with the positive thinking, you may have already abandoned the whole concept, but still. Because I have experienced myself the power of our mind and I have dreams come true in most unusual ways, I am a firm believer that yes, we can have it all if we only believe we already have it. That's the tricky part, of course. One has to surrender entirely to the imagination to start living a dream while still functioning in the reality surrounding us. Yet, it is possible. I practice daily. I have twenty minutes each night for my dreaming. Just like I have minutes for brushing my teeth, washing my face, placing tons of cosmetics on it, etc. And I am disciplined. I have my phrases, affirmations, dreams - all prepared, all ready. Then I go to sleep assured my subconscious is working hard to bring my wildest ideas to life.
And the next day comes. Where am I? In front of the computer. What am I doing? Researching vacation spots. Again? Yep. I've been doing this for more than two months. For that long of a period I should have chosen not one but five spots, I should have bought all tickets, insurance policies, vouchers, etc. Have I done it? Nope. Why not? Because I'm deadly scared. Of the future, of the unknown, of the imaginary evil waiting for not me but my loved ones, of the fatal error the trip may prove to be... Do you see the pattern?
I convince myself I am a good positive thinker and achiever, yet I can't book a ten-days vacation with my child because I expect all kinds of terrible things to happen while there. I've never felt like this before. Ever. It's the motherhood that made me so insecure. The paralyzing fear for the life of someone else. The enormous burden of being responsible for someone innocent. It's terrifying. I can't recognize myself, yet I know very well the only way to deal with such irrational fear is to face it and do what has to be done despite the fear. Meaning, I must book this vacation. I must choose the spot and just do it.
Will I? Frankly, I can't see it happening at this moment... May be more reading will help. May be my yoga breathing will do the job. May be not. May be if I don't go anywhere I'll feel a bigger loser than if I risk and go. In fact, I know that's how I'll feel. Who stole my adventurous spirit I was praised for just a couple of days ago? Deep inside I feel like a lier. I am someone who preaches but doesn't practice. There were times when I'd drive from Paris to Montpellier in an exhausted Citroen, older than me, alone, not knowing more than twenty words in French. There were also the times when I travelled for work almost 1/3 of the time, driving, flying, jumping on trains in countries I had never seen before... And it was all exciting, it was all thrilling, lovely!
Have I turned into a chicken? Seems so. But at the bottom it's always this fear for the little ones... It's never me, except when I realize if I'm gone, there will be noone else to look after him... Realizing it all also helps, of course. Writing about it, digging in it, looking it in the eyes... All teachings brought together to buy me a simple vacation. Pathetic, no?
P.S. Not to mention that the pictures of beautiful places, beaches, palms and boats on my treasure map are already so many that the rest started looking insignificant!
And the next day comes. Where am I? In front of the computer. What am I doing? Researching vacation spots. Again? Yep. I've been doing this for more than two months. For that long of a period I should have chosen not one but five spots, I should have bought all tickets, insurance policies, vouchers, etc. Have I done it? Nope. Why not? Because I'm deadly scared. Of the future, of the unknown, of the imaginary evil waiting for not me but my loved ones, of the fatal error the trip may prove to be... Do you see the pattern?
I convince myself I am a good positive thinker and achiever, yet I can't book a ten-days vacation with my child because I expect all kinds of terrible things to happen while there. I've never felt like this before. Ever. It's the motherhood that made me so insecure. The paralyzing fear for the life of someone else. The enormous burden of being responsible for someone innocent. It's terrifying. I can't recognize myself, yet I know very well the only way to deal with such irrational fear is to face it and do what has to be done despite the fear. Meaning, I must book this vacation. I must choose the spot and just do it.
Will I? Frankly, I can't see it happening at this moment... May be more reading will help. May be my yoga breathing will do the job. May be not. May be if I don't go anywhere I'll feel a bigger loser than if I risk and go. In fact, I know that's how I'll feel. Who stole my adventurous spirit I was praised for just a couple of days ago? Deep inside I feel like a lier. I am someone who preaches but doesn't practice. There were times when I'd drive from Paris to Montpellier in an exhausted Citroen, older than me, alone, not knowing more than twenty words in French. There were also the times when I travelled for work almost 1/3 of the time, driving, flying, jumping on trains in countries I had never seen before... And it was all exciting, it was all thrilling, lovely!
Have I turned into a chicken? Seems so. But at the bottom it's always this fear for the little ones... It's never me, except when I realize if I'm gone, there will be noone else to look after him... Realizing it all also helps, of course. Writing about it, digging in it, looking it in the eyes... All teachings brought together to buy me a simple vacation. Pathetic, no?
P.S. Not to mention that the pictures of beautiful places, beaches, palms and boats on my treasure map are already so many that the rest started looking insignificant!
Places in the south...
While searching for our best vacation spot this summer, I found lots of places and websites which I'm sharing here for you to use, if you wish so.
Airplane tickets, hotels, etc.:
http://www.farecompare.com/
http://www.skyscanner.com/
http://www.rumbo.com/
http://www.edreams.com/
http://www.cheapoair.com/
http://www.onetravel.com/
http://www.lowcostholidays.com/
Spain - from Almeria down to the Malaga region, this is all Andalucia:
About Almeria: http://www.tucotours.co.uk/almeria_information_flights_carhire_hotels.htm#Hotels%20in%20Almeria
Almeria and Andalucia: http://www.andalucia.com/
Almeria: http://www.expedia.ca/daily/enc4105/destinations/insiderContent.asp?TAID=187429&categoryId=s2&categoryName=Background&mcicid=dest.More.BeforeyouGo
Traditional house for rent in Almeria: http://www.homeaway.com/vacation-rental/p606135a
More vacation rentals: http://vacationrentals.travel.yahoo.net/listings/location-Almeria-Spain
Aparthotel in Almeria: http://almeria.torreluz.com/en/apartahotel
Hotel: http://www.citymar-hoteles.com/es/reserva-menu?county_hotel_select=c_117&action=result&county_id=117&inday=25&inmonthyear=2010-08&outday=4&outmonthyear=2010-09&adults=2&children=1&user_language=es
Andalucia: http://www.andalucia.org/
Holiday rentals Almeria: http://www.spain-holiday.com/rentals/spain/holidays/areas/12/Almeria/0/Almeria/0/Andalucia/Almeria.html
One of the best hotels in Almeria: http://www.hotelcatedral.net/en/desayunos.html
Good one too: http://www.hotelcostasol.com/en_habitaciones.html
About Almeria: http://www.idealspain.com/pages/places/almeriaprovince.htm
Holiday rentals in Roquetas de Mar: http://www.spain-holiday.com/advancedsearch.aspx?&&PageId=1&SearchId=-491159174
Car rental: http://www.goldcarrental.com/
More rentals in Aguadulce and Roquetas: http://www.ownersdirect.co.uk/roquetas-de-mar.htm
Again: http://www.holidaylettings.co.uk/roquetas-de-mar/
Good hotel in the very beginning of Roquetas de Mar: http://www.hoteldonangel.com/es_roque/index_roque.php
Aparthotel in Aguadulce: http://www.venere.com/serviced-apartments/aguadulce/serviced-apartment-aguadulce/?sd=05&sm=09&sy=2010&ed=15&em=09&ey=2010&pval=2&rval=1#information;eur;swa20100905,20100915,2,1
Car rental: http://www.carhire3000.com/
Costa Almeria rentals: http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/Spain/Costa-de-Almeria/r335.htm
Local news in English: http://www.euroweeklynews.com/news/costa-de-almería/
More rentals: http://www.rentalia.com/holiday-rentals-almeria/
And more: http://www.rent-holiday-homes.com/Vacation-Rentals-Almeria-rr489_p1.html
Rental cars: http://www.holidaycars.com/
More cars: https://www.economybookings.com/33/index
And more: http://www.solmar.es/carhire/booking.php
Almeria B&B: http://www.madrugada.org.uk/
Accommodation in Nerja, an amazing place to visit: http://www.hotelopia.com/spain/costa-del-sol/nerja/
Beautiful hotel in Nerja: http://www.hotelparaisodelmar.es/en/contact
Hostels in Nerja (if you need WiFi, hostels are your best bet): http://www.hostelbookers.com/results/index.cfm?intCountrySelect=45&intDestSelect=2868&intpeople=1&straccommodationtype=hostels&hasSearched=true&intCountryID=45&intdestinationid=2868&intpropertyid=-1&strSearchType=freeText&strkeywords=Nerja%2C+Spain&fuseaction=accommodation.search&dtearrival=06%2F09%2F2010&intnights=9&languageid=1
B&B Malaga region: http://www.tapaluz.com/contact.php
Hostel in Torremolinos: http://www.venere.com/hostals/torremolinos/hostal-los-geranios-del-pilar/?ref=1276871&#information;eur
Holiday rentals (scroll down): http://www.bbqspain.com/
Andalucia B&B directory: http://www.allbedandbreakfast.com/bed/towns.php/region/Andalucia/country/Spain
B&B Malaga region: http://www.cerrodeloshigos.com/
Another one: http://www.casaannabedbreakfast.com/bed-and-breakfast-prices.php
Another: http://www.casa-colina.co.uk/#/food-drink/4532736004
More: http://www.papajohnsplace.co.uk/default.htm
More: http://www.homelidays.co.uk/EN-Holidays-Rental/es_andalucia_malaga_es/hote_comares_r13.htm
Villa and B&B: http://www.villaandalucia.org/rooms.htm
One more: http://www.bedbreakfasttraveler.com/Spain-bed-and-breakfasts/Escuela-La-Crujia_Velez-[-]-Malaga.htm
More: https://www.bedandbreakfastrooms.com/Europe/Spain/Malaga/2521/email/
http://www.bedandbreakfastrooms.com/Europe/Spain/Malaga/1739/
http://www.elazulspain.com/
Hotel in a traditional Andalusian village: http://hotelbandolero.com/?page_id=30
Another one: http://www.posada-laplaza.eu/index.html
Cheap hotel in a nearby resort, Torre del Mar: http://www.hostelworld.com/hosteldetails.php/Hotel-Miraya/Torre-del-mar/7171
About Torre and other resorts in the area: http://www.absoluteaxarquia.com/areas/torredelmar.html
Good value in Rincon de la Victoria resort: http://www.hostelbookers.com/property/index.cfm?fuseaction=accommodation.search&isdynamic=1&strsearchby=destination&straccommodationtype=hotels&intdestinationid=9146&strdestination=rincon-de-la-victoria&strdestinationparent=&intnights=9&intpeople=1&dtearrival=05/09/2010&fromPropertyNameSearch=0&intpropertyid=19854
B&B in Torrox: http://www.spain-holiday.com/rentals/accommodations/properties/4085/Torrox/6/Malaga/0/Andalucia/Torrox.html
Very cheap hostel in the resort of Benalmadena: http://www.hostelworld.com/hosteldetails.php/Hotel-La-Plazoleta/Benalmadena/12077
B&B: http://www.finca-bonilla.eu/index.php?page=definca&lg=uk
Hotel: http://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?hl=en&sl=es&u=http://www.hotelmoclinejo.com/ing/instalaciones.htm&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dmoclinejo%2Bhotel%26hl%3Den&rurl=translate.google.ca&usg=ALkJrhgrgBSgkaKt5Mm7pNZlr42XosC5Yw
About Malaga and the region: http://www.malaga.us/towns-cities/almayate.asp
Spain, Costa Blanca
Alicante, Gandia: http://www.alicante-spain.com/gandia.html
B&B: http://www.villavista.eu/index.php
Spain, Balearics
Menorca rental: http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p449779
A little Italy :)
Viareggio: http://www.belvedere-albergo.com/eng/offers.html
Holiday rentals: http://www.lillymare.com/en/marina-di-massa.php
Villa: http://www.villabagnara.it/B%26B_/inglese_1.html
Villa and B&B: http://www.villa-flora.it/villaflora/
Liguria holiday rentals: http://www.blumenriviera.co.uk/Italy/Italian_Riviera/Recherche.php?spr=2
Sicily vacation rentals: http://www.worldescape.com/sicily-vacation-rentals/
Hotel in Florence: http://www.venere.com/bandb/florence/bandb-the-five-star-villa/?ref=750723#information;eur;swa20100905,20100914,2,1
B&B in a little known area: http://www.venere.com/bandb/fasano/bandb-masseria-casanostra/?ref=750723&sd=05&sm=09&sy=2010&ed=14&em=09&ey=2010&pval=2&rval=1#information;eur;swa20100905,20100914,2,1
That's all for now, folks. :))))
Airplane tickets, hotels, etc.:
http://www.farecompare.com/
http://www.skyscanner.com/
http://www.rumbo.com/
http://www.edreams.com/
http://www.cheapoair.com/
http://www.onetravel.com/
http://www.lowcostholidays.com/
Spain - from Almeria down to the Malaga region, this is all Andalucia:
About Almeria: http://www.tucotours.co.uk/almeria_information_flights_carhire_hotels.htm#Hotels%20in%20Almeria
Almeria and Andalucia: http://www.andalucia.com/
Almeria: http://www.expedia.ca/daily/enc4105/destinations/insiderContent.asp?TAID=187429&categoryId=s2&categoryName=Background&mcicid=dest.More.BeforeyouGo
Traditional house for rent in Almeria: http://www.homeaway.com/vacation-rental/p606135a
More vacation rentals: http://vacationrentals.travel.yahoo.net/listings/location-Almeria-Spain
Aparthotel in Almeria: http://almeria.torreluz.com/en/apartahotel
Hotel: http://www.citymar-hoteles.com/es/reserva-menu?county_hotel_select=c_117&action=result&county_id=117&inday=25&inmonthyear=2010-08&outday=4&outmonthyear=2010-09&adults=2&children=1&user_language=es
Andalucia: http://www.andalucia.org/
Holiday rentals Almeria: http://www.spain-holiday.com/rentals/spain/holidays/areas/12/Almeria/0/Almeria/0/Andalucia/Almeria.html
One of the best hotels in Almeria: http://www.hotelcatedral.net/en/desayunos.html
Good one too: http://www.hotelcostasol.com/en_habitaciones.html
About Almeria: http://www.idealspain.com/pages/places/almeriaprovince.htm
Holiday rentals in Roquetas de Mar: http://www.spain-holiday.com/advancedsearch.aspx?&&PageId=1&SearchId=-491159174
Car rental: http://www.goldcarrental.com/
More rentals in Aguadulce and Roquetas: http://www.ownersdirect.co.uk/roquetas-de-mar.htm
Again: http://www.holidaylettings.co.uk/roquetas-de-mar/
Good hotel in the very beginning of Roquetas de Mar: http://www.hoteldonangel.com/es_roque/index_roque.php
Aparthotel in Aguadulce: http://www.venere.com/serviced-apartments/aguadulce/serviced-apartment-aguadulce/?sd=05&sm=09&sy=2010&ed=15&em=09&ey=2010&pval=2&rval=1#information;eur;swa20100905,20100915,2,1
Car rental: http://www.carhire3000.com/
Costa Almeria rentals: http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/Spain/Costa-de-Almeria/r335.htm
Local news in English: http://www.euroweeklynews.com/news/costa-de-almería/
More rentals: http://www.rentalia.com/holiday-rentals-almeria/
And more: http://www.rent-holiday-homes.com/Vacation-Rentals-Almeria-rr489_p1.html
Rental cars: http://www.holidaycars.com/
More cars: https://www.economybookings.com/33/index
And more: http://www.solmar.es/carhire/booking.php
Almeria B&B: http://www.madrugada.org.uk/
Accommodation in Nerja, an amazing place to visit: http://www.hotelopia.com/spain/costa-del-sol/nerja/
Beautiful hotel in Nerja: http://www.hotelparaisodelmar.es/en/contact
Hostels in Nerja (if you need WiFi, hostels are your best bet): http://www.hostelbookers.com/results/index.cfm?intCountrySelect=45&intDestSelect=2868&intpeople=1&straccommodationtype=hostels&hasSearched=true&intCountryID=45&intdestinationid=2868&intpropertyid=-1&strSearchType=freeText&strkeywords=Nerja%2C+Spain&fuseaction=accommodation.search&dtearrival=06%2F09%2F2010&intnights=9&languageid=1
B&B Malaga region: http://www.tapaluz.com/contact.php
Hostel in Torremolinos: http://www.venere.com/hostals/torremolinos/hostal-los-geranios-del-pilar/?ref=1276871&#information;eur
Holiday rentals (scroll down): http://www.bbqspain.com/
Andalucia B&B directory: http://www.allbedandbreakfast.com/bed/towns.php/region/Andalucia/country/Spain
B&B Malaga region: http://www.cerrodeloshigos.com/
Another one: http://www.casaannabedbreakfast.com/bed-and-breakfast-prices.php
Another: http://www.casa-colina.co.uk/#/food-drink/4532736004
More: http://www.papajohnsplace.co.uk/default.htm
More: http://www.homelidays.co.uk/EN-Holidays-Rental/es_andalucia_malaga_es/hote_comares_r13.htm
Villa and B&B: http://www.villaandalucia.org/rooms.htm
One more: http://www.bedbreakfasttraveler.com/Spain-bed-and-breakfasts/Escuela-La-Crujia_Velez-[-]-Malaga.htm
More: https://www.bedandbreakfastrooms.com/Europe/Spain/Malaga/2521/email/
http://www.bedandbreakfastrooms.com/Europe/Spain/Malaga/1739/
http://www.elazulspain.com/
Hotel in a traditional Andalusian village: http://hotelbandolero.com/?page_id=30
Another one: http://www.posada-laplaza.eu/index.html
Cheap hotel in a nearby resort, Torre del Mar: http://www.hostelworld.com/hosteldetails.php/Hotel-Miraya/Torre-del-mar/7171
About Torre and other resorts in the area: http://www.absoluteaxarquia.com/areas/torredelmar.html
Good value in Rincon de la Victoria resort: http://www.hostelbookers.com/property/index.cfm?fuseaction=accommodation.search&isdynamic=1&strsearchby=destination&straccommodationtype=hotels&intdestinationid=9146&strdestination=rincon-de-la-victoria&strdestinationparent=&intnights=9&intpeople=1&dtearrival=05/09/2010&fromPropertyNameSearch=0&intpropertyid=19854
B&B in Torrox: http://www.spain-holiday.com/rentals/accommodations/properties/4085/Torrox/6/Malaga/0/Andalucia/Torrox.html
Very cheap hostel in the resort of Benalmadena: http://www.hostelworld.com/hosteldetails.php/Hotel-La-Plazoleta/Benalmadena/12077
B&B: http://www.finca-bonilla.eu/index.php?page=definca&lg=uk
Hotel: http://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?hl=en&sl=es&u=http://www.hotelmoclinejo.com/ing/instalaciones.htm&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dmoclinejo%2Bhotel%26hl%3Den&rurl=translate.google.ca&usg=ALkJrhgrgBSgkaKt5Mm7pNZlr42XosC5Yw
About Malaga and the region: http://www.malaga.us/towns-cities/almayate.asp
Spain, Costa Blanca
Alicante, Gandia: http://www.alicante-spain.com/gandia.html
B&B: http://www.villavista.eu/index.php
Spain, Balearics
Menorca rental: http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p449779
A little Italy :)
Viareggio: http://www.belvedere-albergo.com/eng/offers.html
Holiday rentals: http://www.lillymare.com/en/marina-di-massa.php
Villa: http://www.villabagnara.it/B%26B_/inglese_1.html
Villa and B&B: http://www.villa-flora.it/villaflora/
Liguria holiday rentals: http://www.blumenriviera.co.uk/Italy/Italian_Riviera/Recherche.php?spr=2
Sicily vacation rentals: http://www.worldescape.com/sicily-vacation-rentals/
Hotel in Florence: http://www.venere.com/bandb/florence/bandb-the-five-star-villa/?ref=750723#information;eur;swa20100905,20100914,2,1
B&B in a little known area: http://www.venere.com/bandb/fasano/bandb-masseria-casanostra/?ref=750723&sd=05&sm=09&sy=2010&ed=14&em=09&ey=2010&pval=2&rval=1#information;eur;swa20100905,20100914,2,1
That's all for now, folks. :))))
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
A woman at 35
Technically I'm not there yet. Still, I was asked to answer a few questions and I found them and my own thoughts intriguing, so I'm posting them here. It's not exactly official interview, no copyright involved (yet). It all started as a game of truth (tricky!). Turned out to be a revealing experience. Hope you find something for yourself. :)
Q. How do you feel different from when you were 25? 30?
A. Smashed.
Q. Why?
A. Well, between 25 and 30 I felt no difference. Whatever was coming my way, I was eager and capable to manage. Now my energy seems at a very low level.
Q. Would you like to share if there is a particular reason or do you think it's aging?
A. I don't believe in aging as such. Ages are numbers. However, I won't deny the nature of our bodies and yes, they do get tired easier at 35 than they did at 25. But at the end of the day, it is all coming from inside. There must be a fire burning to keep the power alive.
Q. And your fire is...
A. Wanted. Dead or alive.
Q. How is writing going?
A. It's not going. I can't write when I'm lacking fire.
Q. It all sounds rather depressing.
A. Agree. I'm actively looking for the "exit" sign.
Q. Have you found it before?
A. Hundreds of times. I know it's there. Somewhere. What is most annoying is my inability to see it right now.
Q. What helps usually?
A. Love.
Q. Speaking of love, when did you fall in love for the last time?
A. About a month ago.
Q. Happily?
A. No way. I'm a Scorpio. We invented love drama before Shakespeare even thought of Romeo and Juliet. :)))
Q. Up till now we have lack of fire, lack of inspiration, lack of love... 35 seems something we should try to avoid.
A. It depends on what you want. If you want roses and pigeons, then by all means skip the grey and black. But if you want to see your next strike of luck as a true gift of the Universe and appreciate it as never before, take the bitter sip, cry if you feel like crying, listen to soul ripping music, spend sleepless nights asking questions without answers, and grow up. It hurts, I know so well. But when the new day rises and you see a rainbow out of the window... Then the faeries may come to kiss you.
Q. Or someone else may come?
A. All frogs are faeries in disguise. Never be afraid to kiss a frog. ;)
Q. What is next in your life?
A. Vacation, vacation, vacation.
Q. Not all is black then.
A. It never is. Life is colors and colors are inside us.
Q. Have you chosen your destination?
A. I've bought plane tickets, yet I haven't booked a place to stay at.
Q. How much time do you have to book?
A. Less than two weeks.
Q. Isn't that a bit risky?
A. Definitely. Especially considering a two year old sleeping somewhere in the fields because his mother is insane.
Q. I can't help but envy you a bit for the adventurous spirit.
A. Thank you. The truth is I'm still torn between different choices and I can't point the one I want most.
Q. But you bought the tickets.
A. Yes, but they are to Central Europe and from there it's equally close to all the countries I'm trying to choose from. Last week I was told the cheap tickets to one of my dream destinations were sold out. I told them I could fly to Madrid instead and drive from there. They pronounced me a lunatic.
Q. Frankly, sounds fun to me. Despite your little child...
A. I know. I'm sure we can do it. We'll be Gypsies for a month... Or two...
Q. I wish you a glorious summer... I hope you answer a couple more questions when you're back. We'd love to know how it all went.
A. Gladly. I'd love to know how it was too. :)))
I apologize in advance for not checking the spelling and not editing at all. Just copied and pasted. Somewhere between the search of a decent place to stay at and the child support fight, I lost my desire to be perfect. ;))
BTW, how are your summer plans developing? :)))
Q. How do you feel different from when you were 25? 30?
A. Smashed.
Q. Why?
A. Well, between 25 and 30 I felt no difference. Whatever was coming my way, I was eager and capable to manage. Now my energy seems at a very low level.
Q. Would you like to share if there is a particular reason or do you think it's aging?
A. I don't believe in aging as such. Ages are numbers. However, I won't deny the nature of our bodies and yes, they do get tired easier at 35 than they did at 25. But at the end of the day, it is all coming from inside. There must be a fire burning to keep the power alive.
Q. And your fire is...
A. Wanted. Dead or alive.
Q. How is writing going?
A. It's not going. I can't write when I'm lacking fire.
Q. It all sounds rather depressing.
A. Agree. I'm actively looking for the "exit" sign.
Q. Have you found it before?
A. Hundreds of times. I know it's there. Somewhere. What is most annoying is my inability to see it right now.
Q. What helps usually?
A. Love.
Q. Speaking of love, when did you fall in love for the last time?
A. About a month ago.
Q. Happily?
A. No way. I'm a Scorpio. We invented love drama before Shakespeare even thought of Romeo and Juliet. :)))
Q. Up till now we have lack of fire, lack of inspiration, lack of love... 35 seems something we should try to avoid.
A. It depends on what you want. If you want roses and pigeons, then by all means skip the grey and black. But if you want to see your next strike of luck as a true gift of the Universe and appreciate it as never before, take the bitter sip, cry if you feel like crying, listen to soul ripping music, spend sleepless nights asking questions without answers, and grow up. It hurts, I know so well. But when the new day rises and you see a rainbow out of the window... Then the faeries may come to kiss you.
Q. Or someone else may come?
A. All frogs are faeries in disguise. Never be afraid to kiss a frog. ;)
Q. What is next in your life?
A. Vacation, vacation, vacation.
Q. Not all is black then.
A. It never is. Life is colors and colors are inside us.
Q. Have you chosen your destination?
A. I've bought plane tickets, yet I haven't booked a place to stay at.
Q. How much time do you have to book?
A. Less than two weeks.
Q. Isn't that a bit risky?
A. Definitely. Especially considering a two year old sleeping somewhere in the fields because his mother is insane.
Q. I can't help but envy you a bit for the adventurous spirit.
A. Thank you. The truth is I'm still torn between different choices and I can't point the one I want most.
Q. But you bought the tickets.
A. Yes, but they are to Central Europe and from there it's equally close to all the countries I'm trying to choose from. Last week I was told the cheap tickets to one of my dream destinations were sold out. I told them I could fly to Madrid instead and drive from there. They pronounced me a lunatic.
Q. Frankly, sounds fun to me. Despite your little child...
A. I know. I'm sure we can do it. We'll be Gypsies for a month... Or two...
Q. I wish you a glorious summer... I hope you answer a couple more questions when you're back. We'd love to know how it all went.
A. Gladly. I'd love to know how it was too. :)))
I apologize in advance for not checking the spelling and not editing at all. Just copied and pasted. Somewhere between the search of a decent place to stay at and the child support fight, I lost my desire to be perfect. ;))
BTW, how are your summer plans developing? :)))
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