An Orient Express for my father

I'd like to apologize in advance if this sounds too sad, yet I want to write it. My father passed away too long ago. Too early, too unexpectedly. It's been too raw of a wound for too many years. Surprisingly (or not) it didn't become any easier with the time. Whoever said "time heals everything", apparently was trying to be clever but had never lost a world. I did. An entire, beautifully built, finely touched, impressive, warm and funny world. Something like a Disneyworld made for me, only. I didn't lose a parent, one of two. I lost the definition of "parenthood", the sense of what it means or should mean, and I lost it forever. Now, with my own child, I face the challenge to redefine and reinvent it every single day. Because I don't remember what it means. And in loving memory of this man, and partially to somehow push away the sorrow attacking me these days, I dedicate this post to him. :)

The Orient Express... The ever lasting glory of Hercule Poirot, the seductive glow of diamonds, the sparkling evening dresses, the charm of the past that never returns... Yet, still travelling, still living. I've been involved in his journey since I was born as my father was the first person who brought the train of dreams beyond the "iron curtain" of the communism. He was selling dreams. I looked in wonder at the pictures and couldn't imagine what it would be to sit on velvet, dress for dinner, and... I became Agatha Christie fan. :)))) It was far easier than to buy a ticket. Of course, I did travel on it later as a daughter of my father but those early impressions are still alive in me. I had intentionally buried the train in my mind but fate sometimes plays nasty tricks on us and a couple of days ago I literally bumped into a travel magazine featuring precisely this train on its pages...

*Photo courtesy of www.jaunted.com

Aside from my uncontrollable emotions, the Orient Express can be found here: http://www.orient-express.com/ . There are different journey options to choose from and each separate destination opens a new page, so you won't lose the list. Here is one of my favorite: London - Venice http://www.orient-express.com/web/vsoe/booking_step_1.jsp?station=Venice&type=arrivals or visit Scotland and get lost in the raw romance of the Highlands http://www.orient-express.com/collection/trains/the_royal_scotsman.jsp . Naturally, it's an expensive treat. But... if you ever have this money to spend on a trip, go for it. Take your evening gowns, touch your skin with the nicest perfume you have, borrow (if you don't own) a bold diamond necklace and live, even only for a couple of nights, a dream.

In addition to the already highly emotional post, I want to say here "Thank you!" to someone who wrote me today: "Wherever you go, you have a friend named A." Each time I'm faced with the remarkable generosity of my friends, I'm speechless and feel stupid for not being able to express my gratitude more freely, more openly. They deserve so much and I'm so... reserved usually. So, I will use this blog to tell them I hate the distance between us, yet I am freaked out that I may need to go back... And as cruel as it sounds, I think I still prefer to see them rarely but to move on with my life which, for now, is going to continue I don't know where, I don't know how, only a month and a half before I leave from here... I love them all... but I don't want to go back... And it's difficult for me too. But the fact that they are there, for me... makes a big difference! Thank you all! I hope some day we get on the Orient Express together. :)