I was on Twitter and I saw this tweet about @LiftUpEllie who is 8 and battling very advanced cancer and I thought how pointless is all else. It's all about our loved ones, isn't it? It makes me sad and I sometimes find myself staring at my son while the fear, the paralyzing terror that I can lose him one way or another leaves me breathless. I can't fight it, it lives inside me. I realized I have changed my prayers without even thinking. Now it sounds like "Please, let me raise him, let me see him grown up and happy, allow me to stay long enough..." Why have I done it? No idea. Do I know something which I can't articulate or pinpoint? May be. But I am also a writer and I wrote a short story today where a woman was reciting a verse.
"Summer cricket, play to me
So I never fall asleep
For I've heard I shan't awake
If I fall while you play."
But I changed it now... Because I saw this tweet about Ellie...
"Summer cricket, play to me
So I never fall asleep
For I've heard I shall awake
If you only stay and play."
There. Better. I wish her with all my heart a warm and lovely summer. May our children be protected!
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