Love disputes

We've been arguing on an Internet forum for ages which one is worth more - living with someone who makes us feel comfortable, yet lacking the passion, or going for the "big love" risking to never find it. I, naturally, tend to defend the latter option. The thing is I've been in a relationship with someone who was stable, wealthy, secure, mature, and all other "ure" things but wasn't exciting me in any way. I did my best, I swear. Five years is a long time to check out if it's possible or not. And I'm positive it doesn't work. All women I know in such relationships are turning into neurotics with the time. I just don't believe it's in our nature to live our lives thinking on a daily basis that something is missing and something is passing us by. It's poison that works slowly but with the time increases its impact and our blood turns into venomous substance that kills our heart. Up to the point when all those involved in the relationship develop such an apathy that nothing, not even a sudden spark come from nowhere, is capable of restoring the harmony anymore. And this is not about the natural process of "falling in love - love - respect - friendship". This is about the lack of spark/passion/love from the very beginning. I don't believe such sacrifices are worth. Many of those on the forum say it's worth for the security of the children, yet I can't see it. I believe happy children are raised by happy parents. And vice versa - if the parents are unhappy, the children won't be either. This, of course, leads to the fundamental question "in a marriage for the sake of the kids" or "out of the marriage for our own sake". Call me "selfish" but I definitely prefer the second option. If a marriage has reached the point where the kids are the only reason for its existence, it's a done deal.

OK, I was asked why would anyone enter such a relationship at all. From my experience, this usually happens as a result of a trauma - any kind - emotional, psychological, physical. It starts when we are vulnerable and think compromising the spark will lead to a blissful calm existence. Also from my experience, it's a delusion.

On a more positive and summerish note, I think I found a place in Spain where we'll go at the end of August. Screw the economy, the seaside is always healing. :))))

Still no lyrics for a beautiful song in my head. A couple of lines floating around and no more. Terrible.