Have you seen the "Runaway Bride"? That's how I've been feeling lately. There are three more months of studies ahead, a part-time job which turned out to eat far more time than half a day, a house to care for, and most important of all - a toddler to look after. I need a break. Desperately. I know writing fragments is unprofessional but this one pleases me. It is dramatic.
Aside from the hectic everyday life, I'm feeling guilty. I had to send my son to a daycare and despite the fact that I found what I believe to be the best existing centre in the city, I still feel a lump in my throat every day. It is me who is lonely and needs him. I can hardly wait to 5:00 p.m. to take him back. Sometimes he is playing and doesn't feel like going home yet and I feel so proud and sad at the same time. He is walking his own path already, I know. Where does my path lay I wonder?
Have you ever had the feeling that someone/something is pushing you back only to make you realize you're going in the wrong direction? What do you do then? Change your ways or keep going like you always did? Tell me!
I tend to think that negative trends are trying to tell me something. I've been in the middle of such for the last two years and can't help but feel like I must make a turn and look for other opportunities, elsewhere. It scares me though. Because this time I think it will be a major change. Roots will have to twist and ground will be lost, cracks will appear...
I'm in a travelling mood again, does it show? My dreams won't leave me alone. As usual my travelling is not simply vacationing but means new life, new places, new people, all from the beginning, and so on. Some people tell me they envy me. Others just shake their heads in contempt. I can't figure out how to treat my own folly. Still, I adore these dreams. They keep me standing on my feet when all around seems dull and lacking perspective.
Have you ever found yourself at a place where you suddenly realized you belonged there? Would you share the story? Were you able to leave? Forever or did you go back there?
It seems I will go back, sooner or later. This restlessness is so well known to me. I've felt like that before. It always ends the same way - something is ruined, another comes to life. There is a little of nostalgia, of course, but the overwhelming happiness covers it with golden patina. Until the next dream hurts the eyes with its unbearable honesty. And "the road goes ever on and on," as my most favourite author Tolkien once wrote.
Meanwhile I translated a book - teen fiction. Hopefully, it will be published and will bring success to its author. I miss writing. I've been coming up with different stories for my son and may be some day will sit and write them down. As about the book I started about a year ago, it is still in my head but somehow words don't come out smoothly these days. After days of heavy thinking, I decided it needed a break.
Me too.
Aside from the hectic everyday life, I'm feeling guilty. I had to send my son to a daycare and despite the fact that I found what I believe to be the best existing centre in the city, I still feel a lump in my throat every day. It is me who is lonely and needs him. I can hardly wait to 5:00 p.m. to take him back. Sometimes he is playing and doesn't feel like going home yet and I feel so proud and sad at the same time. He is walking his own path already, I know. Where does my path lay I wonder?
Have you ever had the feeling that someone/something is pushing you back only to make you realize you're going in the wrong direction? What do you do then? Change your ways or keep going like you always did? Tell me!
I tend to think that negative trends are trying to tell me something. I've been in the middle of such for the last two years and can't help but feel like I must make a turn and look for other opportunities, elsewhere. It scares me though. Because this time I think it will be a major change. Roots will have to twist and ground will be lost, cracks will appear...
I'm in a travelling mood again, does it show? My dreams won't leave me alone. As usual my travelling is not simply vacationing but means new life, new places, new people, all from the beginning, and so on. Some people tell me they envy me. Others just shake their heads in contempt. I can't figure out how to treat my own folly. Still, I adore these dreams. They keep me standing on my feet when all around seems dull and lacking perspective.
Have you ever found yourself at a place where you suddenly realized you belonged there? Would you share the story? Were you able to leave? Forever or did you go back there?
It seems I will go back, sooner or later. This restlessness is so well known to me. I've felt like that before. It always ends the same way - something is ruined, another comes to life. There is a little of nostalgia, of course, but the overwhelming happiness covers it with golden patina. Until the next dream hurts the eyes with its unbearable honesty. And "the road goes ever on and on," as my most favourite author Tolkien once wrote.
Meanwhile I translated a book - teen fiction. Hopefully, it will be published and will bring success to its author. I miss writing. I've been coming up with different stories for my son and may be some day will sit and write them down. As about the book I started about a year ago, it is still in my head but somehow words don't come out smoothly these days. After days of heavy thinking, I decided it needed a break.
Me too.
